The Cure for Our Sexual Dysfunction: A Second Sexual Revolution That Works for All—Men, Women, and Society
What would the world be like if feminism advised women to use their sexual power in the service of building and maintaining an egalitarian romance that was built on accepting the natural differences of both sexes? Tweet
Highlights
We are not that interested in each others by design.
What is so frustrating is that we all know it need not be this way— that there is a better way.
The solution to patriarchy is not matriarchy.
All we are asking for is a better feminism—a feminism that respects and nurtures healthy expressions of natural difference.
We all can agree on this much:
No one thinks the cause of Manliness is trending well.
The vibe I’m feeling is that at a cultural, commanding-heights level, the powers-that-be are fed up with the idea and reality of the American male.
And the ladies—young and old—on the sexual frontlines don’t appear to be into the idea and reality of us, either.
And with every passing year, we are doing less than our manly best, living down to the cartoon version of us drawn by our critics.
Not good. Not good for women, society or men.
Sadly, it’s not just an issue of bad PR.
Men are not doing well by any social metric.
We are demonstrably not happy.
Our apathy is killing us off.
And with every passing year, we are doing less than our manly best, living down to the cartoon version of us drawn by our critics.
What is so frustrating is that we all know it need not be this way— that there is a better way. We all know it, and knowing it pisses us off even more.
Feminism’s Plan for Man
Unfun Fact: This present generation is the first generation to have less sex than their parents.
Our present impoverished, sexually dysfunctional circumstance is the product of a plan. It’s just not a plan suited for actual American men and women, or our shared egalitarian principles.
Feminism has implemented its plan for Man. It’s been running the sexual show for as long as most can remember.
Respectfully, we don’t think it is working for either sex—women or men—or society. We are increasingly not into each other by design.
Why has feminism’s plan for the sexes failed?
In a sentence: The solution to patriarchy is not matriarchy.
A “turnabout is fair play”—injustice for injustice—never solves a problem; it creates new problems. Our present problems.
It’s that simple. This is why we are at odds with each other and unhappy.
They, the architects of feminism, had their reasons:
In these ladies’ minds, manliness leads to arrogance and violence towards women and rigid hierarchies.
The aim of their plan is to mute the psychological and emotional differences between men and women. To make men more feminine and women more masculine.
That is the plan that is presently in play. One might even call it Toxic Femininity.
The Mangina—the mask that too many men wear and too many women are educated to want—is a product of feminism’s mental imagination made real. And to add insult to irony, women find the Mangina unsatisfying.
Feminism fails for the same reason that the movie “Barbie” fails. It is not made for a common cause or a good that is in any way common.
Both the sexes deserve more. And the good news is that it’s within reach.
Our present plan for the sexes needs to be swapped out for a better plan.
Planned Man’s Plan Is a Sexy & Equal Plan
The only true way to overturn a bad idea is to put a better idea in its place.
The problem with feminism and its “Barbie,” Margo Robbie reboot is that at core it’s inegalitarian.
Say what?
Isn’t feminism supposed to be all about equality?
It turns out that equality has a range of expressions.
The passion of and for equality has two general expressions and a range in between: uplifting and ennobling to leveling and debasing.
The cure in a sentence: It’s equality for all humans—female and male— and the respect and enjoyment of our natural differences.
Feminism chose the latter, leveling road to sexual serfdom. In contrast, we at Planned Man are taking the uplifting and ennobling, and less trodden path—and we think it will make a shared, and all the better, difference.
The cure in a sentence: It’s equality for all humans—female and male— and the respect and enjoyment of our natural differences.
Letting this simple, self-evident idea—a notion of equality that allows for difference—into minds, hearts, and practice is the solution to most of our contemporary problems.
The respect and enjoyment of our natural differences: this is what we are lacking and the source of our mutual sexual misery. I know that the word “nature” is triggering—and that’s the problem.
It’s ironic: respect and support are demanded for freely chosen sexual differences but not natural differences. A woman can declare herself a man—but a man can’t.
Our current fixation on differences—particularly differences rooted in nature—only feeds animosity and separates us further.
Equality properly understood recognizes and respects the obvious ways that we are not equal.
We are not equal in height. Basketball is not for everyone.
We are not equal in looks. Modeling is not for everyone.
We are not equal in sexual plumbing. Childbirth is not for everyone.
We are not equal when it comes to intelligence. MENSA membership is not for everyone.
We are not equal in strength or courage. Deadly, dangerous, and dirty work is not for everyone.
We are not equal in sexual plumbing. Childbirth is not for everyone.
Equality, in short, is not homogeneous.
Here, then, is what “created equal” really means: Every human being is born for self-government, politically and personally.
That’s it. And, it turns out, that’s a pretty big, new-order-of-the-ages deal.
Here is the baseline of genuine, natural, sexual difference that the passion of equality must respect: Men naturally gravitate to things. Women naturally gravitate to people.
The freer a society, the wider this gap.
Male and female differences are built-in features that need to be accepted and nurtured to help us achieve a better state of being.
Our not doing so is what keeps the sexes from entering Equality’s Sexual Promised Land.
We—women and men—need and are capable of doing this. Focusing on what connects us—equality, our complementary differences, our love, our duty to each other—connects us and can be the source of this world’s happiness and joy.
This is our shared, solid ground for a sexual Unum, American style. I promise you, if we let this very American idea guide our practice, we will see most of our contemporary problems melt away.
Walking the Talk
The acceptance of this truth comes with a commitment to building more equal and fairer relationships between the sexes.
The old habits of mind, heart, and sense of justice and injustice run deep—and they will not pass silently into that good night.
Men are not your enemies. Treating them as such culturally and through policy is not only unjust; it’s not in your collective interest.
A positive change of attitude can improve reality at home, work, and in the public square—and it can do it quickly.
Most importantly, let’s be nice to each other.
Men are not your enemies. Treating them as such culturally and through policy is not only unjust; it’s not in your collective interest.
We are not idiots, either.
Most of us are doing our best at work, love, marriage, and baby carriage.
Try seeing us for who we are at our best—and who we aspire to be.
See us as friends, lovers, coworkers, sons, fathers, and husbands first.
What If?
What would the world be like if feminism advised women to use their sexual power in the service of building and maintaining an egalitarian romance that was built on accepting the natural differences of both sexes?
Let’s find out. Let’s edit the script together.
We are not suggesting that those who have conformed to the feminist plan—which is most of us, men and women—are not good people.
Ask Your Man to Remove the Mangina Mask
Only that both sexes are capable of being better and happier. All we are asking for is a better feminism—a feminism that respects and nurtures healthy expressions of natural difference.
It does not require that women scrap their deeply held values. On the contrary, it requires that they better embrace them as well as learn to love our complementary natures.
Ask Your Man to Remove the Mangina Mask
The good news is that the man you now find unsatisfying can give you what you want and long for but won’t express.
American men are wearing a conforming mask fashioned to your liking and what they perceive as society’s dictates.
Your man wants to give you more and is capable of giving it. He is just waiting for the cue to take off the mask and show himself better.
Planned Man’s aim is to be a catalyst for that cultural cue.
Ladies: It’s all up to you. Don’t expect a change of mind from the corporate office. The status quo is working to their liking.
If there is going to be a second sexual revolution that delivers on the promise of equality, it is going to have to start from the bottom up. The corporate office’s plan needs to be scrapped and swapped out for a better one.
The rest we can write together.
