Dating can suck, especially if you don’t do it right.

I know too many guys that have wasted time, money, and good hair days on women that either breadcrumb them in return or ghost them entirely.

It’s a sad reality, but a reality nonetheless.

Guys, we have to be smarter about dating.

No more exorbitantly priced, candlelit dinners on Tinder matches that never call you back.

No more marathon dates that seem to never end.

Let’s create a new paradigm. One that works for both parties involved.

I’ve made all the mistakes so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.

Did I say all the mistakes? Because I really mean all of them.

Below are Frank’s Rules for Dating. Follow them, and you’ll be all the better for it.

Rule #1: First Dates Should Be Short

Your time is valuable, and so is hers, so don’t let the first date drag on.

First dates are the worst. Literally no one likes them. They are obligatory sniff tests that provide you with invaluable information: Are we compatible?

Deducing one’s compatibility with a member of the fairer sex shouldn’t take more than an hour at most. Information beyond that is superfluous. If all goes well, save it for date #2.

Rule #2: Stick to Drinks

You’ve got to trust me on this one.

On more occasions than I care to admit, I’ve taken first dates out to dinner.

Don’t do that.

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You’ll know after a few sips of your overpriced drink and a few bites of your stale bread whether or not you’re into her. Dragging out a bad date over drinks, appetizers, and a main course is not a good idea.

Again, it’s a waste for you and for her.

Most of the time, you’ll end up poorer and still alone.

Instead, ask her out to drinks. And by “drinks,” I mean two max. Again, any more than that is superfluous.

Rule #3: Shut Up and Ask Questions

Verbosity is unattractive.

It tells her that you’re self-absorbed and inconsiderate.

This tends to be a dude problem, though I’ve seen the inverse, too.

Don’t go on and on about your job. She doesn’t care. And, honestly, why should she?

Instead, let her do the talking.

To further my point, I defer to this famous anecdote about former Prime Minister of Great Britain Benjamin Disraeli:

“Legend has it that British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli and his political rival William Gladstone had a date with the same woman on different nights. When asked her impression of the two men, she said, ‘When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England.'”

Too many men make the mistake of being Gladstone. Be Disraeli.

Rule #4: Play the Field

Putting all of your eggs in one basket—to use a tired idiom—is nothing but a disservice to yourself.

I have one friend—whose name I of course won’t mention, but he knows who he is—who makes this mistake ad nauseam.

He’ll tell me about how he totally hit it off with this one girl after a first date and is no longer pursuing other matches. “I think she might be the one,” he tells me.

Some call this traditional; I call it stupid.

You don’t just interview one candidate; you play the field.

While you may be set on her and delete your apps, she’s certainly seeing other people.

Dating is a game that you have to play. Don’t tie one hand behind your back.

Rule #5: Don’t Get Despondent 

No one said this was easy.

In fact, I’d argue that dating is one of the most arduous and emotionally draining things that a young man can do.

You’ll be met with constant rejection.

After a first date, which you swear went really well, you’ll receive a text like: “Hey! It was great meeting you yesterday, but I didn’t really feel much of a connection. Wishing you the best of luck!”

This is, as they say, par for the course.

Then there will be other times where she’s into you, and the feeling just isn’t mutual.

Again, par for the course.

There’s no question about it: all of this will wear you out. You’ll get blue, down in the dumps, and black-pilled about dating. The second you give into that despondent feeling, though, it’s over. “Cooked,” as the kids are fond of saying.

But don’t give in. It get’s better.

This Is All from Experience

I am by no means a dating coach. In fact, that sounds like an awful job.

I tell you these things from experience. I’ve made all of the aforementioned mistakes.

If I had a nickel for every crappy date I’ve ever been on, well, I’d be a wealthy man.

Now, though, I have a smart, funny, and beautiful girlfriend.

This can be you, too!

Stay the course, let her speak, and be your own version of a modern-day Benjamin Disraeli.