It appears Drake successfully punked a gold digger who was “thieving his seed.” 

Drake is more than woke to the problem of gold digging. So now he’s fighting back.  One pack of hot sauce at a time!  

After bedding a “social influencer,” Drake is purported to have punked his spunk by putting hot sauce in his used-and-discarded condom. As one does.

Drake is purported to have punked his spunk by putting hot sauce in his used-and-discarded condom.

According to reports, said “social influencer” is contemplating suing Drake for pain and suffering caused by her inserting Drake’s discarded and maliciously hot-sauce-tainted sperm into her vagina! Ooooh, that bad burrito’s got to sting!

The creative department at Frank’s Hot’s Sauce should get to Drake first.  Just imagine Drake delivering their signature line, “I put that shit on everything”.  (Particularly on my used-and-discarded Magnums.)

If this story is true—and I do hope it is—this is a peak “gold digger” moment. (A few weeks later and the fundamentals of the story still stand and sting.)

Some other marketing memes to bring public attention to seed-thieving gold diggers:

Fire in the Ho

merchandise

Planned Man’s Merch

Buy it on:

Buy it

Doin the Drake

The Red Rubber

Frank’s Float

Punk your Spunk

Hot Twat

Stop Seed Thieves

Much like the flipped-out babe-watch “Karen” on the airplane, this is a central-casting expression of a problem in society. We don’t know what to do about it, so we act like it doesn’t exist.   Like the C-word that can’t be uttered, women don’t like that “gold-digger” designation.  Kanye West’s song about the reality saw the artistic necessity to mute it.  “I ain’t calling her a gold digger, I just don’t see her hanging with any broke…” guys.

But men and women all know that both Karens and gold diggers exist and are proliferating.  Part the of reason bad behavior exists and grows is because we don’t call it out.  As they say, “Silence is Violence.” Society would be better if women showed a willingness to police their own toxic femininity.

Sadly, while Drake’s Drip approach puts a smile on every man’s—and every good woman’s—face, its not a solution at scale to the gold-digger problem.  Sadly,  I don’t think Frank’s Hot Sauce is an effective spermicide.  Drake’s gold digger might have two days in court and two paydays.

High status men are hunted by gold diggers.  It’s a simple fact of their celebrity lives that more often than not have a Tristan Thompson outcome.

If a sexy women throws herself at a mortal,  he should be concerned about waking up in an ice-filled hotel tub, near an airport and, with luck, lacking only one kidney.  If it happens to a Drake, he will certainly wake up bodily intact but his pound-of-flesh risk is a paternity suit perfect for a gold-digger looking for some baby-mama rent money.  

From 15 until death, a man has the material to make a baby and is legally, morally, financially obligated for having a child.  What is a man to do? 

Planned Man is calling for men to make two decisions as early as they can that when done together is a win/win like none we have ever seen.  

The first decision: to harvest enough of his best swimmers for their planned family purposes, get them tested—and then put them in the freezer under lock and key. Step two: see a urologist for a no-scalpel, reversible vasectomy.

Wins for everyone!  The guy is empowered.  No more accidental births — which is a boon for men, women, and society.  Women in relationships with these men need no longer bear the burdens that come from the Pill. And by the way, forty years in the freezer and the no-scalpel procedure is cheaper than the Pill.  

Most importantly men, men of the world—this is the two-step solution that can stop seed thieves once and for all.  And Drake, you should lead the way to this Promise Land. 

To reach Guy Shepherd contact: [email protected]

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