The naked truth about your wife’s nudity.
Your girlfriend or wife. Naked. In front of a roomful of strangers. And it's her hobby. How do you feel about that? Tweet
Highlights
Today's lesson: If you want to appreciate your wife, get her to strip in front of a room full of strangers.
Right. There may be better ways, but nothing the room full of strangers will appreciate more.
How do you feel about other people staring at your naked girlfriend or wife?
Not a fleeting, accidental peek. Like if her bikini top accidentally slipped off in a pool. Or if you walked into a bathroom at the wrong time, or while she was still getting dressed. I mean letting them take a long, lingering look. Studying her even, admiring her curves, really contemplating her exposed flesh. And not for minutes, but for hours.
Would you be okay with that?
It’s something that writer Eric Adams explored in a Men’s Health story a few years ago, when he wrote about his wife Kimberly’s desire to start nude figure-modeling at art schools. The premise of his story is amusing enough…at first, anyway:
As Adam wondered aloud in his essay, “Why is she, a 38-year-old mom with a meaningful career in social work and an already full schedule, having this urge? Not getting enough of the good stuff at home?”
We guys are jealous creatures by nature. It doesn’t take a lot to set us off. But it’s not an admirable trait, because we know deep-down that it’s a sign of weakness and insecurity. I’ve always prided myself in being the sort of guy who wouldn’t get upset if other people were eyeballing my wife. Hey, it should be a compliment. They think she’s desirable, and yet she wants to be with me.
So why did this Men’s Health story make me feel nervous and sweaty, like a guilty perp being given a lie-detector test?
I really want to say that I’d be the kind of guy who wouldn’t care if his wife was posing naked for a dozen strangers. What does it matter? I mean, it doesn’t technically count as cheating, right? And if she’s being paid to be there and she feels empowered by the attention, why should I get bent out of shape?
When somebody admires my car, peering through the window to check out the interior and even asking to take a peek under the hood; I take that as a compliment!
“Sweet ride,” they say, and I thank them, because hellyeah it’s a sweet ride. But if another guy looked at my wife the same way? Especially the under-the-hood part?
I want to punch him in the face.
It might be less about those leering eyes and more about “Hmm…maybe she isn’t getting the same thrill from my gaze?”
Or maybe it’s you. Maybe you’re not gazing at her the way you used to…and she knows it. Maybe she feels it? Or maybe you’re afraid she doesn’t really want or care if you gaze at her anymore?
Be honest now: when was the last time you took a long, lingering look at your wife’s naked body?
In Adams’ slow acceptance of his wife’s nude modeling career, he has an epiphany that has nothing to do with strangers staring at his wife’s naked parts he once thought were reserved just for him.
Knowing that others were spending hours gazing upon her, he began to look at her body with fresh eyes.
“I started to see parts on her that I’d never really noticed before,” he writes. “An indentation in her knee, the creases above her thighs, her clavicles. I didn’t know she even had clavicles.”
Maybe that’s really the lesson here.
It’s not about patting yourself on the back for not flying into a jealous rage every time somebody stares too long at her, whether she’s naked or not. It’s about slowing down and taking the time to really look at her yourself, to see her in ways that you might be taking for granted because you’ve been with her for so long.
So there’s a challenge for you. When you’re alone with your sweetheart tonight, ask to see her naked. Is she okay with you looking at her in that vulnerable state? And if she is, are you able to pause and really feast your eyes on her jaw-dropping beauty? Not just the stuff you see out of the corner of your eyes as you’re both getting dressed for work in the morning. And not just the bits and pieces you notice when you’re making love. I mean the full package.
You are one lucky bastard. I don’t even know you — or your wife, honest — but I feel comfortable saying that. Whoever you ended up with, you’re lucky to be with her. Drink her in. Gaze at her like it’s the first time you’re seeing her naked, and your only job is to draw what you see. You may surprise yourself by what you discover (or rediscover) about the woman you thought you knew so well. Even if you also discover you’re not a great artist.
